Will She Be Able To Forgive Me For Cheating?

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Will she forgive meWill my wife ever be able to forgive me for cheating? That is a complicated question whose answer will tend to change on a case by case basis. Men and women cheat for different reasons, and usually view cheating differently.

Some men fall into other relationships where emotions are attached, but for most cheating men its just sex. In the case of women its usually the opposite. There are some women who are just looking for sex, but most of the time their emotions get involved before the cheating occurs.

End the affair and own up to what you did

If you are involved in an ongoing affair its time to end it if you haven’t already. There is no way your wife is going to be able to forgive you if you don’t totally cut ties with your mistress. No calls, no texts, no emails, no how are yous, no nothing.

Now is not the time to be defensive. Its time to own up to what you did, and why you did it. If your wife wants to know what that is. Don’t ram the dirty details down her throat if she doesn’t want to know them, but if she does, its time to be honest with her.

Acknowledge the Damage You’ve Caused

Let’s face it, you broke your vows to your wife. You betrayed her trust, and if you have children your actions were selfish at best, and show’s you put them behind your own sexual wants at worst. Trying to deny any of those things will make it less likely she will forgive your affair.

Your cheating also has some unintended consequences that you probably didn’t think about. Your cheating will damage your wife’s self-confidence, and her perception on her life. That is enough to rattle anyone to their core, especially women. Imagine your worst insecurity and then magnify it by ten. A woman who has been cheated on feels insecure, vulnerable, and questions everything she thought she new about her world.

You need to understand that you are the most important man in her life. She often compares you to her father, and it only takes one bad decision to destroy that view. When you put cheating in  that context its pretty heavy stuff. The fist step in fixing the damage you caused is respecting that damage.

It’s going to Take time

The quickest way to end your marriage is to rush your wife into making a decision about your marriage’s long-term future. Your actions gave her the upper hand in your marriage, and put her on the defensive. If you back her into a corner on top of all that you won’t get the outcome you are looking for.

Start by reaffirming your love for your wife, and then prove it to her by your actions. That is the only way you will regain her confidence, and then eventually regain her trust. Begging for her forgiveness will only work to alienate her more.

Once She Forgives You its Time to Work on Your Marriage

If you were carrying on an affair you need to realize that infidelity is almost always a sign of underlying problems in a marriage. If your marriage is to succeed in the the long-term, the two of you are going to need to determine what those problems are and address them.

You are going to have to be honest in order to fix those problems. Whatever caused you to stray needs to be addressed. This has to be done with love and understanding, or it will backfire and put your wife back on the defensive.

It’s important to remember her only responsibility she has in this mess is her part of the underlying problems in your marriage. She has zero responsibility in your cheating. That is 100% on you. Remembering those things, and acting accordingly will give you the best chance of gaining your wife’s forgiveness.

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